002-The One Who Didn’t Belong

“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody and they’re going to find me out.” ~Maya Angelou

I want this one to sink in. Read it again, and know this quote is one of far too many. Consider how many times you’ve believed yourself to be out of your league, not deserving, or not good enough. There are plenty of quotes similar to the one made by Maya Angelou; enough related statements to create the world’s largest gathering of beliefs that WE. DON’T. BELONG. If the owners of similar thoughts and feelings of not being worthy of their position or their title, that shindig would be chock-full of appearances from the highest-ranking people in our government to your favorite authors and musicians, and most likely, the people you come in contact with on a daily basis. The reason is because many of us feel like imposters at any given time.

I see you. And I feel you.

Imposter syndrome is a hell of a lot more common than any one is willing to admit. I’ll say it…you’re a damn liar if you deny ever having that creeping sensation in the back of your head that you’re very simply not cut out for what you managed to get yourself into. A new profession, a new role as a parent. Hell, pretending and telling your friends you’re still athletic like you were in high school…yea, I see you, twisting your ankle in that adult basketball league. Hurts, don’t it? At least in the case of a profession, an employer is deeming you worthy by way of an interview. Your joyous, new role as a parent comes with a bundle of unconditional love. As a writer? As a creator? Someone with a passion they want to share? who are you to deem yourself worthy of something above any one else? Who am I to deem myself worthy of writing this? That answer lies a bit within my original blog post as it answers the ‘Why’ to that question (check out blog 001-Let Me Introduce You To). Why am I worthy? Because I call myself a writer and if these blogs are any indication, I’m actively writing in addition to my other projects. What it doesn’t answer is ‘how.’ HOW am I worthy? How do I attempt to feel like I belong in a particular role, be it creatively, professionally, or otherwise?

The answer is: INVESTMENT.

Sure, I wrote a couple adorable, handwritten stories on paper as a child, dabbled with other ideas into adulthood, and I have a few manuscripts tucked away I’m editing or adding to. However, when someone is asked questions like “Have you been published?” or make assumptions that I woke up, stretched my arms and said “Yep, I’m going to declare myself a writer today and start a website,” what isn’t considered is the investment—sometimes years’ worth—that leads to that decision.

I believe questions and comments like those are ultimately fueled by comparison, in a way trying to find out who is less ‘impostery’ (like that?). We tend to compare and measure up with one another; to do so, especially to someone with a creative outlet, can be catastrophic to their passion. As thoughts of being unworthy or being an imposter grow, motivation to get better while chasing our goals begins to disappear. No point in moving on if I was never worthy, right?

Wrong. The fight is to push through it. The investment helps you to fight less.

One of these is not like the others.

I’m going to detail the investment from multiple avenues in a more personal sense in the next blog. Truth be told, I realize I have plenty more to speak about on the topic, far too much to continue including here. In the meantime, thank you so much for taking the time to visit here, it means a ton as I get this site rolling. Moving forward, and after writing this blog in particular, I would love to touch on the mind of creators, writers, artists, etc. Hell, maybe even start trolling the social media feeds to find someone to discuss it in detail with. Imposter syndrome is real, and I think for a community of creatives, it’s likely at an elevated rate, so I would love to continue touching on this.

We all feel like imposters at times. But there are stories to be told, songs to be sung, and art that has failed to see the light of day until now. Which is why every one of us are worthy. Which is why you, yes you, belong.